Embracing imperfection

Feeling good. Feeling great actually.

My life is travelling along well. No, it isn't perfect - not a lot in the world is.

I am still struggling with some head/thinking issues, plus a few too many 'sometimes' foods are sneaking in daily - but overall, life is grand.

Not perfect.

This is something that has taken me a long time to learn, and I am still learning it - not everything you do has to be perfect. You don't have to have the perfect house. The perfect workout. The perfect menu plan/nutrition. The perfect life.

It doesn't exist.

So much of my procrastination has stemmed from this concept. Come on - you know how it works. The overthinking.

The "paralysis by analysis"
It's my biggest downfall, and something I still struggle with every day.
Instead of just getting on with it, you over think until the job/task never gets done.

Well now I am embracing my imperfection. Learning to let go of the perfectionist, and seriously JFDI. Just getting on with it. Doing what I can, and feeling satisfaction in that.

And just loving the balance that comes with this. I am getting some cleaning done. Some workouts. Some art/craft (me time). Feeding the body mostly well - 95% of the time i would say (thanks must go to my wonderful husband for this one mostly - he is just brilliant, and has really embraced this year of change and lifestyle enhancements).

For possibly the first time in my adult life - I can honestly say,

I AM CONTENT.

And it feels so peaceful.

Being happy

Last week was an interesting week. Filled with rumours, anger, sadness, concern, support and acceptance. I have now moved past the anger - thank goodness. I have discovered how much support out there in cyber-space, and real life, that I really do have. I have learned that I don't need to keep toxic people in my life, regardless of how long I have known them or our previous relationship history. Some of this will still be difficult to implement - but I am now committed to doing this.

Really, really committed.

I don't need, or invite, negativity into my life. I am stronger than that. I don't need that. My family doesn't need that.

And I have learned to feel sorrow for those toxic negative people. They will never know the true meaning of life and happiness. They will never realise how small and wasted their lives are. They will never feel pure joy and friendship. Oh well.

And I have moved on.

From now on, I will surround myself with positive people. People who believe in themselves. People who make me smile purely because they are awesome. People who love me for who I am, and who I have become (not for who I was, or their perception of who I am). People who accept and embrace change.

People who make me happy, just by being here.

I have discovered that I really am strong. Much stronger than I used to be. Not just physically, but mentally too. 2012 has really changed me - for the better. I appreciate so much more what I have. I have the most amazing family. I have an incredible husband, who has supported me, and carried me, more than once over the years. It's time for me to give back to him, and them. To be the best for them. I have friends who make me laugh so hard I pee myself a little - that's a good thing people :)

 

But more than anything - I have ME.

Doing what is best for me and my life

"People know your name, not your story. They’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through. So take their opinions of you with a grain of salt. In the end, it’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts. Sometimes you have to do exactly what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else."

Truer words I haven't seen lately

Very very applicable to me right now

I will be sharing much more of my story with you, I think I need to. Not for you. For me. So I can get it out there. 

Remove some of the hurt. 

Disclose some of the back story. 

Work through some of the shit.

I need to think about myself with respect and integrity. With honour. With a sense of amazement at the damn fine woman that I am. Because I am a damn fine woman - and pretty darn incredible too :)

Watch this space...